Inaugural Post

It's funny, growing up I never really gave much thought to having children. Getting married, yes, thought about it all the time. What he would lookI like, what his name would be, would I have a cool last name? But, kids were something that I knew were in the equation but didn't fantasize over. Now, I wonder should I have been? Maybe if I dreamed about kids as much as I dreamed about a husband......well, I have an amazing husband. See little girls do not grow up hearing that maybe some day it may be difficult or maybe impossible to have children. All little girls are told is the dream that they will grow up, get married and have a big family. And what I mean by "told" is not only by family and friends but also by society (media in general). Society is great at screaming at us what we should be when we grow up. So, I for sure thought I would get married and have no problems when it came time to have my 2.5 children (still not sure what the .5 is). But what I quickly found out is That's Not My Name! God's will for my life is to not have biological children. I have many names, Wife, Friend, Sister, Daughter, but the only name in the midst all the pain and lies of the enemy that matter is Child of God.

Last October, I had a hysterectomy at the age of 34 after battling with severe Endometriosis and fibroids.  The pain was debilitating and my quality of life was an all time low.  The doctors told Justin and I that chances of conceiving were about 0% and that was with fertility drugs and IUIs.  We were not on-board with in-vitro.  For us, taking out a loan to maybe have a baby was not a choice.  I had already had two Laparoscopic surgeries to remove the Endometriosis previously and within very short amounts of time, the Endometriosis grew back.  Justin and I felt that the hysterectomy was the only option to allow me to regain my life back.  We both felt God strongly in our decision, however I won't lie and say that there weren't times I thought "Am I crazy......34 in menopause!".  A topic for another post :0  But, God is good and delivered me through the surgery with peace. 

This is the start of my story.  I hope you all will continue along the journey.  Justin and I feel that too many couples go through this type of journey alone and that is unfortunate.  I tend to be a private person and would like to open up and lean on my friends and perhaps even be able to help someone else.  Please pray for me as choose the words to describe my story and the courage to share.  Also pray for those who may read this as they may be going through something they may not be ready to share with others just yet.

Much Love,

Tracy